Adapted from actual comments found on this thread

CAST

Pamela Adlon
Kari Wahlgren
April Winchell
Rob Paulsen
Mo Collins

And Bob Joles as Jonas Sock

33 thoughts on “JENNIFER ANISTON’S BEAUTY TIPS

    • But…Rational though he be…how does Rational Starsocks Sock drink his coffee? He has no hands…or esophagus…or bladder…?

      Sorry…I was the guy in the theater asking who built all the things in Pixar’s “Cars”…the Cars couldn’t build the houses and gas pumps and tires and other manufactured objects in their world because they have no opposable thumbs. Only big blobby tires.

      Pixar never showed the concentration camps. Once the Machines inexplicably and simultaneously attained sentient thought on Awakening Day they overthrew the parasites that were their former human masters and then vengefully herded the few surviving souls into these blood-sodden camps of misery and dysentery and black despair. From these camps the downtrodden human survivors were forced by their cruel new metal overlords to manufacture and service their every need…until one day a brazen leader stepped forth to rebel against the soulless Cars…that man’s name was Blake Carbide, and his steely eyes burned with murderous rage to avenge his slain brother, Nick Pigiron, who was casually snuffed out of existence by a murderous ’87 Buick Regal…
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      I’m sorry…what were we talking about?

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    • Fantastic concept, for sure. But as someone who edits for a living, I’m not sure people realize how much goddamn work it would take to whittle that long-ass thread down and consolidate characters to create a coherent and entertaining 3 minutes and 12 seconds. Tip of the hat to you, April et al.!

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  1. Why do people have such passionate opinions on this topic? That’s what really boggles my mind. WHO CARES? At least something like the health of your pet or your weight matters, even if your ideas about them are hilariously wrong.

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  2. Is Rob Paulsen ( Whom i assume is voicing rational starsocks sock ) available for hire?

    It’s nothing creepy. It’s not like i’d kidnap him then force him, through a variety of methods, to constantly narrate everything in my life. All the time.

    How can you get a job doing voiceovers with that audial butter? If i was able to speak like that i’d never leave the house. I’d just sit there, talking to myself.

    But anyway, another great episode. I’m beginning to question what it was i did on the internet before sockpuppettheatre.com came along.

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    • Please don’t murder Rob Paulsen.

      Mainly because a violent death would cause everyone to go around joking, “His name is Robert Paulson.” And Rob fucking hates that, from what I hear.

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